Leading an Emotionally Intelligent Life by Patrick Kilcarr

Author:Patrick Kilcarr
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
Published: 2022-05-04T00:00:00+00:00

As we worked together, Grant connected with the notion that we all have choices. But I was reminded of the saying: “The world would be a better place if everyone else would change.” Reality dictates that change must start with us. When we realize we are not happy and want things to be different, that is what we seek control over. Limiting beliefs, longstanding negative patterns of behavior, and blame are often the smokescreens sabotaging us from taking that control. Grant and I began using the therapeutic model of growth and change developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan called Dialectical Behavior Therapy. DBT serves to anchor the most essential aspects of personal change deep within a person’s psyche. This is particularly true of those trying to manage DBT.

A month into our therapy, I asked Grant if he wanted to take the EQ-i 2.0. I also gave him some articles on emotional intelligence. Looking at his results in figure 4.2, perhaps you will see what Grant saw. As he examined his scores, Grant said,

It’s just so odd how accurate this is. It is like someone secretly took a video of my life, and then sat me down and showed it to me in a written report. I don’t want my results to look like someone’s EKG during a heart attack. Is it possible to achieve some kind of balance with these competencies? … I do have to admit that I am surprised at my Assertiveness and Independence scores. I thought they would be much lower.

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